Velveeta

So, I'm opening my blog with a small rant.

I want to support my local yarn stores--I really, really do. But. Every time I go to the various local yarn stores, I am confronted by masses of eyelash, piles of glitter, strands that seem to be spun from the tail feathers of parrots. And way, way off in the back of the stores, if I'm very, very lucky, I may find a wee cache of natural fibers. If my karma's shiny that day, the skeins of mammalian goodness won't be variegated, hand-painted, combined with acrylic, or otherwise "improved."

Don't get me wrong. I understand that novelty yarns have their place. However, while you might technically be able to knit a classically tailored sweater with flurfy parrot yarn, the results will likely be less than desirable. And while those expensive hand-painted wools might be pretty, just as often when knitted up they resemble the carpet of a frat house after a kegger. (Please note: I believe that many hand-painted or variegated yarns can work up into lovely finished items. Unfortunately, there are also many which should have been drowned at birth.)

In my view, novelty yarns are the Velveeta of the yarn world. While it may make a passable nacho dip, Velveeta has absolutely nothing to do with cheese, and generally shouldn't be treated like cheese. I mean, think about it: Velveeta pizza? Velveeta-topped apple pie? Similarly, I have no desire to create an aran sweater out of Fun Fur. So sue me.

I realize that in warmer climates there is probably less demand for worsted-weight wools, but the stuff does come in other weights. I know that the yarn shop owners need to cater to their consumers, and that this stuff sells. I just don't understand why there isn't room for a decent selection of classic natural fibers. For dog's sake, can't we all just get along?